I really did have something else planned for today’s post, but as life does, it changed my plans.
Emotions Are Rough
I have a hard time with stress and anxiety. I also suffer from PTSD, so conflict takes a huge toll on me. Tonight was the mother of all heated discussions. I felt alone, and extremely unheard.
This discussion is one that my husband and I have had many times over the years. And every single time without fail, we disagree and I get shut down. I get to the point that I don’t want to fight anymore and just close off because I feel like I am wasting my time and breath, and it boils down to the fact that it continues to be the same thing over and over.
Our oldest does something that he shouldn’t have done. We try to get a straight answer out of him(and fail). Dad goes to discipline him and bam! Huge disagreement on how things are being handled, or why our oldest is acting out. Let’s face it, he is smart enough and was taught well enough to know right from wrong, so it comes down to wanting attention for whatever reason. And we have yet to figure out what those reasons are.
And let us not forget the “common sense” argument that comes up with every discussion that involves him. I understand that you believe that he should function just like you when it comes to things, but it really is not that cut and dry. There is so much that goes into it, so much that has happened, it all plays into how he behaves, how he thinks, and most definitely how he reacts to any given situation.
Hard To Handle
Although I love my husband dearly, when it comes to our oldest, I find myself disagreeing with him. Maybe more than I should. But that is also something that he knew when we got together. My boys are my life and if I disagree with something, I am going to make sure that it is known.
Most people might feel like I am being stupid for going against my husband, and that I should be submissive to him, but that is not how I am, and that is not who I am either. I just get so damn frustrated feeling like I am not being heard. We both want the same outcome for him, but we fight every step of the way. At times, I just really wish that he would listen to me. And actually, acknowledge my thoughts and feelings when it comes to this. That way we are able to be a united front and get that much closer to our goal.